My Calender MUST be Broken!!! but I'm thankful!!!

Ladies...I've not been looking forward to this day!!! Haven't been dreading it, just not looking forward to it. Today I am 41...WTF!!! How did that happen?!?! as much as I'd like to say the Calender is way off...its November 5, 2012....I came into the world on November 5, 1971...I guess I believe it due to the FAB fashions that everyone had on in the pictures surrounding my birth...even I wore a maxi skirt for my 1st birthday....either that or it was an early staging of "Anchorman - The Legend of Ron Burgundy" ;) Ok so you know what that means....Top Ten List of things that prove...I'm...sigh...41....

1. My driver's license says so...dammit!!! Oh well...it also says I weigh what I did when I was 16...bwahahahaha!!!

2. My father's mutton chops, in my first b-day pics, eclipse Dan Fantana's in Anchorman  :)

3. The friday nights of my youth consisted of The Dukes of Hazzard at 7pm, Dallas at 8pm and Falcon Crest at 9pm...and it never crossed my parents mind not to let their 9 year old watch that stuff...LOL

4. I saw the original Star Wars at the movie theater and remember it...it was at the Hillside Square (that dates me even more for those of you that know it...the last movie I ever saw there....The Blair Witch Project...now it a mega church LOL)

5. My brother (he's 14 years older than me...poor bastard ;)) brought a front loading Betamax that I remember watching Saturday Night Fever on....I was too young to see most of it but he'd fast forward to the dancing parts for me...I thought that was AMAZING :)

6. I remember riding in my father's 1974 Ford Pinto (I think it was rated one of the worst cars ever made...EVER!!!)

7. I remember when they played videos on MTV...and I watched it ALL THE TIME!!!

8. I was in love at some point with every member of Duran Duran and EVERYONE knew it!!!

9. I wore the following fashions: Gauchos, head bands, leg warmers, bell bottoms, parchute pants, Z Cavarrichis, Neon, Body suits, stretchy stirrup pants, Hammer pants, flannel, workboots, penny loafers, cowboy boots...

10. I've worn my hair in the following styles - The Dorothy Hamil, Long and wavy...my hippie do as my mom liked to call it. Shag...think Jane Fonda in the 70s LOL, Perm!!! OH I LET MY SOUL GLOW!!! Straight with bangs (EPIC FAIL) THE RACHEL, FROSTED...yum lol, highlights, low lights...and now I'm just trying to hide the grays :)

Ok so I buy it I'm 41...BLEH...but here is my top ten list of things that make that OK...you knew it was coming...I love lists :)

1. I have never seen the number 200 on my scale in my forties :) I spent all of my 30s over two hundred pounds...and I plan on never seeing that number again.

2. Today I am wearing a dress that I wore on my 40th birthday except...this one is a size 8, that one was a size 14...HOLLA!!!

3. My oldest daughter told me I don't look a day over 31 and meant it...awww!!! She's getting a car ;)

4. My beautiful girls wished me a Happy Birthday this morning...they are my world!!!

5. I have amazing friends that fill me with such happiness...I wouldn't know what to do without them.

6. THIS is the happiest I've ever been

7. My sorta boyfriend is still in his 20s MUAHAHAHA!!!

8. I got a birthday cookie with Wonder Woman on it...SCORE!!!

9. Got on the scale..and wasthisclose to my goal weight!!!!

10. My life isn't any where near the ball park of perfect but I'm ok with that...I'll keep working on it but everyday I wake up with a sense of hope and a thrill to see whats coming...just hope I can keep that up for the next forty plus years!!!!

What do you do when IT just can't be fixed!!!!

Been toying around with the idea of blogging about being divorced…I keep wanting to say…its hard, I don’t wish it on anyone (I certainly don’t!!!) but here is MY thing…My life is much better and much happier since I’ve been divorced…and why, because it was the right decision for me.

My marriage had fallen beyond repair. I blame myself for some of it but I did try. I’m not saying he didn’t…he’s not here to comment J I just know I gave up long before we even separated….I think that is what makes me sad but somewhere along the way my will to fight it out was sucked out of me.

Ok then…what do you do when you are in a marriage YOU KNOW ISN’T WORKING AND ISN’T GOING TO WORK? Well if you are like me and sooooo many other women…you suck it up and put on a brave face J Im glad I didn’t get on Facebook until my marriage was pretty much over. There is a study out there that says looking at other peoples happy facebook pics and statuses actually make us more depressed…LOL. That’s because we all suck it up and put on a brave face J Most of us are not going to put crappy pictures of ourselves on Facebook and bemoan our life for everyone including our ex-boyfriends, who we are still friends with to see…unless you are THAT person J We all have that one on Facebook…they put quotes up like how amazingly strong they are and how shitty life is OVER AND OVER AND OVER again J I’ve got that friend(s)…none of you of course J and I also have the incredibly hot friend who bemoans getting objectified by men, hated by women but constantly posts half naked pictures of herself (rolling my eyes!!!)

Here is a top ten list of things we do when surviving the death throes of marriage…how we deal when its over BUT it ain’t over (this is meant to be humorous/painful…but its ok…I’m with you, holding your hand…lets wade across the pond of shattered emotions, shall we?…don’t try these at home…if you do…TELL ME EVERTHING!!!)  :

1.       EAT LIKE SHIT – AHHHH YEAH that second bowl of KFC’s mashed potato bowl will kill the pain!!! Mashed potatoes, fried chicken nuggets, cheese, gravy, corn…its NUTRITIONAL CRACK!!! One hit and you are hooked!!! Can’t talk to your friends cause your embarrassed then EAT!!!!, can’t talk to your spouse cause you’d rather swim across the alligator/anaconda infested swamp…EAT!!!! Can’t have an affair cause its just not you and face it who’d want you while stuffing your face with this crap…EAT!!! Gain 60lbs and then the mirror will reflect just how you feel!!!!

2.       HAVE AN AFFAIR – In retrospect I should have gone this route ;) kidding, truly..but at least it wouldn’t have taken me a year to lose weight.  I have no moral high ground on this one…life is one trick bitch to manage and my glass house won’t tolerate stones. If this were a friend of mine, I’d hug her and say “Be safe, don’t get caught (if you do…my couch is available) and remind me of my alibi responsibilities J” )

3.       THROW YOURSELF INTO A HOBBY – Life at home SUCKS HAIRY BALLS…so do something that keeps you busy. I read A LOT…especially Chick Lit…it was comforting to read about others screwed up lives when mine was going down the drain. I recommend Jennifer Weiner “Good In Bed” LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her books!!!

4.       GET ANOTHER TV – UGH (ok going to flame the ex a bit here...just a bit though...he won't even feel it LOL)  my ex loved to watch “The Simpsons” and “That 70s Show”….I can still picture him on far right side of the couch, computer in hand…the thought makes me groan inwardly. GODFORBID ID WANT TO WATCH ANYTHING…cause he hated most of what I wanted to watch…I do enjoy my trash tv but not with his constant, unrelenting commentary about how these shows signal the fall of Western Civilization and I should feel bad about watching them…SHOOT ME!!!! Go into the other room ladies!!!!

5.       IT’S THE WEEKEND….SCATTER!!!! – Spending quality family time…yeah…not so much. You two can barely stand the site of each other so best to retreat. Hang out with family, friends (remember happy face…bring your probing question deflector)…do your own thing and count the days til you can figure out a solution to this mess…and if its this bad…you really better think!!!

6.       SPEND EXTRA TIME AT WORK – Coming home to a powder keg of pain sounds as much fun as having eyeball surgery with a needle and Nurse Ratched holding your hand J Stay late at work…finish that report that’s due…next month J

7.       HONE YOUR ACTING SKILLS (your children need you!!!)  - the things we do for our babies…heck, we wouldn’t even be here still if it weren’t for them. We all love our kids and only want them to have the best…even if it’s a lie. You are dying on the inside and smiling on the outside…hold back the tears when you kiss your babies and remember that they are the bright spots in this mess…btw…when the shit hits the fan and you FINALLY go your separate ways…I promise you they will be fine. If you put their needs first…it will be ok.

8.       HAVE A DRINK OR 5 – Why does everything feel better with a bottle of Pinot Noir?…ummm…because its like the KFC crack bowl…you aren’t dealing with the pain, you are numbing yourself. Why do we have alcoholics and drug addicts…for many reason but one of them I think is that LIFE IS HARD…so hard you feel yourself in despair…its like being at the bottom of a well with no ladder…I get it but guuuuurl…you are no help to anyone, least of all yourself drunk or stoned. Make yourself the ladder (EASY TO SAY FOR A TALL BEEOTCH!!!) and crawl out..NOW!!! Call me…I’ll jump in, you can stand on my shoulders and then send down a rope…or better yet…I’ll send down the rope and pull you out…remember…I have a couch J

9.       HIDE!!! Here is another “fabulous”…”I don’t want to deal with my pain” move…hide!!! Don’t see your friends, cause they’ll ask questions…don’t see your family…they’ll ask even more questions…you want the Spanish Inquistion…come talk to my mother!!! Did you know 60lbs of extra fat is like a cloak of invisibility…and a smile…even better.

10.   SCRAP THIS LIST!!!! All of the above SUCKS!!!! I’ve done most of it (9/10 J) I DOESN’T WORK!!! It’s a band-aid on a KNIFE WOUND.

Ladies, ask yourself is my marriage worth saving? Is it save-able? If you answer yes then DO IT!!! Do everything you can to save your marriage and be happy. I've seen truly happy marriages...I'm jealous yet they fill me with love and hope :) If not, if you can’t…its time to move on. I know its easy to say but I’ve done it…and it wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t after reading anyones charming blog J It took years but I did it…you can too!!! Everyday…I find something to be grateful for and happy about…no matter what!!! Call me…I’ve got rope and I am one tough BITCH J

I think I need oxygen!!!

Hello Ladies….

I know I know…I said I’d post yesterday…but I have an excuse…the dog ate my computer? The answer is 12? I’m sorry :( It was one of the two things on my to do list I couldn’t finish…but just in case you think I sat around all day…THINK AGAIN!!!!

I knew taking Halloween off work would be a good idea. I toyed around with the idea of working from home instead of taking the day off…but I would have needed to pay attention to work stuff and that WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED given all I had to do. Here is the the list and what happened:

1.      Get the girls ready for Halloween – My beautiful daughters betrayed me with their costumes….they went as a Green Bay Packers Player and Cheerleader. My oldest daughter was going to dress up as Aaron Rodgers, their quarterback, but then she fell in love with some Green Bay PJ pants so her official costume was “Aaron Rodgers wakes up late on Sunday and is running to Lambeau before game time” My hope is he doesn’t make it and the Bears crush them 45-0 but I keep this thought to myself….after all I was the Hoodwinked Bears Fan that drove them up to Kenosha WI to buy this CRAP…I mean outfits :) I LOVE MY KIDS, I LOVE MY KIDS!!!!

Cute Little Traitors!!! :)

2.      Go get breakfast at Dunkin Donuts – Me and the girls are not what you’d call morning people…in fact on the weekends we are lucky to get out the door to do anything by noon…but mention donuts or bacon and WE’RE OFF!!! Plus I was off work and feeling like have some fun. Did you know Dunkin Donuts has Red Velvet Munchkins?!?!? I had ONE…plus a coffee (skim milk with Splenda (sweetner naysayers…I know)!!! The girls had 20…BLEH...I should feel bad letting them have that much sugar…but truthfully I’m thinking as one famous mom said many years ago “From 8 to 3 they are the State’s Problem!!”and then sent them on their blissful, Packer loving, sugar high way.

3.      Buy treats for their classes – Yeah I should have done this already…but I didn’t…I knew I had the time off and they weren’t having their class parties til the afternoon. No edible treats (ARGH!!!!) so I’m on a mission to buy Halloween pencils and notebooks. Nothing at the Dollar Store so I run to Target next door…do you know what happens at these stores on Halloween morning? They begin putting out Christmas stuff!?!?!?! I did manage to find Halloween gift bags, glow sticks and stickers…good enough…better do some groceries too…geez I am out of everything…one hour and a couple of hundred dollars later, I’m out the door….

4.      Assemble gift bags…oh and put away the groceries before they melt – Groceries put away…breakout into a sweat assembling gift bags…notice the time…ACK…10:15…by 10:20 they are ready to go…I’m out the door…drive two blocks (LIZ!!! WTF!!!) drop the gift bags at school….MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!!!

5.      GO VOTE – I run out of the school…slide across the hood of my car, jump in and go vote (Ok lying about my bad ass hood sliding…but how KEWL would that have been!!!)…meanwhile my friend Laura is calling me about some funny pic on Facebook…OMG…someone posted something about me!?!? (YES LIZ…cause the world revolves around you!!!! ;) ) she says its not about me (WHAT!!! …then why do I care? :) )  its just funny and I need to download it now!!! So yes…I AM DRIVING AND MESSING WITH MY PHONE….CHICAGO PD…COME AND GET ME!!! Can’t download the darn thing cause my phone doesn’t want to cooperate…get to the early voting place…tell Laura I’ll download it later and call her (Yeah…forgot the whole conversation before I hit “END” on my phone) run in to vote…the line is out the door. I swear…audibly :o everyone looks up….I book out the door (that was the other thing I didn’t get done on my to do list!!!)

6.      Buy a License Plate Sticker…which expires…TODAY :)- Leave the early voting place after saying “WTF!!!” so loudly I think President Obama heard it (Mr. President…I apologize…I am voting for you once the line gets shorter!!! :)) I can’t go to my local currency exchange OH NO…that would be too easy. My car required emissions test proof so I gotta go downtown…meh…its 10 mins away…no problem…its 10:45…I’ll be back before the 1pm Halloween Show at school. I’ll get that done and go to the farmers market out there and get my veggies…I know you are thinking “LIZ…NOOOOOO THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN DO IT!!!”…UMM…did I mention…I am WONDER WOMAN…beeeaches!!! :) stop at Starbucks and get a breakfast sandwich…eat it in the car…Buy my license plate sticker, get my veggies and got back home by 12:15…tidy up…put my exercise clothes on and THIS TIME…I walk the two blocks to school.

7.      Watch my youngest daughter in the Halloween show….AWWW she was soooooo cute…she is one of the tallest kindergarteners so she’s easy to spot on stage…I know those of you that know my 5’11 @ss are SHOCKED that my kids are tall. Not only is she tall but sooooo expressive…a born ham!!! She was wonderful!!! I toy with the idea of skipping out after she’s done but there is the parade right after…grrr…but the show zooms by in an hour. I almost fall asleep cause it’s the most sitting I’ve done all day :)

8.      Watch the Halloween parade….bless my kid’s school for making this brief…plus look at my girl!!! She was so happy to see me…worth every minute :) Its 2:15…if I go to the gym now…I can get my 5k run and strength training in before picking up the girls at 4:30pm.

Look...she wanted a hug!!! KID KILLS ME!!!!

9.      Workout – Get to the gym…won’t lie…this was tough…I’m already running on empty so I gutted out that 5k on the treadmill . Watched “Jersey Shore” while running….FIST PUMP!!!. 5K done…strength training in the workout studio….ah the studio is empty. I love the mirrors in there cause they do really help with keeping form…but I am fighting through this…my body is SCREAMING to stop but I keep going until the very end…when I came up from a stretch…I saw stars…literally…UH OH…I’m going to faint!?!? I’m going to pass out in the studio which is separate from the rest of the gym and no one will find me for hours :0…wonder if the hot owner will give me mouth to mouth…sadly we will never know :) I managed to recover and not faint…Its 3:30 thank GAWD I live in the city and there is a Starbucks downstairs. Get my skinny Pumpkin Spice latte….I feel like a $100 now:)

10.     Get home and shower…my chest hurts?!?! OMG am I have a heartattack? (NO LIZ YOU’VE HAD ONE BREAKFAST SANDWICH ALLLL DAY and THREE GIANT COFFEES…you are over caffeinated and under fed :)) shower…put on my mommy-fied Wonder Woman costume. Mia would not allow me to show any skin so I had to put on cuddle duds under my costume.

11.     Pick up the girls – HA…only running 5 mins late to get the girls. Mia whacks her head in her hand when she sees me in my costume as though to say I’m embarrassing her (SCORE!!!!)

12.     Go to my friend Denise’s house for the Halloween Festivities…if there is a Heaven, it feels a lot like my friend Denise’s house…I LOVE GOING THERE…she always has food, alcohol and a smile. She is the kind of person that just makes you feel good by knowing her…asking anyone…who doesn’t like Denise?!? If they don’t I’m going to kick their ass!!! J My girls LOVE going to Denise’s house too…they go to school with her three wonderful kids…if I were a lost kid on Halloween night…I’d want to end up at Denise’s house:) anyway…you get the picture :) She’s even got a Weight Watchers receipe chill ready to go…she’s AMAZBALLS!!!

13.     Trick or Treating…12 kids, 5 grown ups, stomach full of chill and some wine…LETS DO THIS MUTHA!!! We live in one of the best neighborhoods in Chicago for trick or treating….one of the 758 things I love out my city :) After an hour we come back to Denise’s…the kids do a candy trade…hmmm…where’d that wine go??

14.     Trick or Treating Part Deaux…thinking that only the older kids would want to go, we plan on some more trick or treating…ALL the kids want to go…WE’RE OFF…after another hour  and we’re back in. I get a Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer, sit on the couch while Denise puts together a trougth of pizza for me to take home…did I mention she’s AMAZBALLS?!?!

15.     Get home and go through the kid’s candy…the collection was staggering….so we decided to donate a bunch of candy to the Troops…here’s a great story for you…the candy goes overseas, the troops have some but they also carry it with them and give to kids who have never had candy. We had a huge bag of candy to donate. The girls also made a pile of Kit Kat bars and Reese Peanut Butter Cups to give to their Dad. Even so…still plenty of candy that I’ll finally throw out next Spring. :)

16.     EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP….GO TO SLEEP!!!! – “Mommy PULLLEASE read me a story!!!” I’m just about comatose but ok…ONE STORY!!! I read to Emily and put her to bed…glitter and make up on her face (I’ll get it in the morning!!!)

17.     Kiss Mia goodnight

18.     Climb into Bed!!! COMA...SNOOOOOORRREEEE!!!!

One of the best Halloween’s ever!!!!

This weekend HOT CHOCOLATE 5K BAYBEE!!!!

Did ya miss me? Cause I'm getting smaller :) and now I'm VAIN ;)

Sorry ladies, had a combination of writers block and crazy schedule going on last week. I kept wanting to say something but something kept tearing me away..work likely...kids, even more likely and having fun...that too :)

I had a perfect weekend! Full of friends, good times, family and ended curled up with my girlies before bed last night. SO I DID IT!!! Went as Wonder Woman this year (most thought it was my costume...but its my secret identity as we all know) Had thought about going all out..really spending it up and getting the Linda Carter knock off copy...but in the end...the Partycity version won out. Can I tell you the Wonder Woman costume is POPULAR...couldn't find it anywhere....for a few weeks I would randomly check Party City(s) and they were all out. Funny enough I have a Party City right down my street and thats where I found mine. When I got the costume it was at about this time that the idea that I'm a size MEDIUM sank in.

Don't know what I'm so happy about...oh yeah...I LOOK GOOD LOL

Girls...I've been a large most of my life (I'm tall so there is a length thing) I have a large frame...ugh, have I mentioned how much I hate that term...its like saying I'm big boned...can't they come up with something better? Anyway most costumes, in my experience, tend to run small so I was sure I needed a Wonder Woman costume size large. I tried the large Wonder Woman costume and it was baggie and just didn't fit right...so I tried on the meduim...bit snug to get around my pear shape...think I'm going to say I'm genie bottle shaped ;) but the fit was GREAT...IN MEDIUM...WOOHOO!!! After that I really started to notice...I'm not a large...I'M NOT A LARGE?!?! I think we all have that feeling when we are losing weight...especially when you lose ALOT of weight...your physical state changes faster than your mental state. Here is an example...for years I HATED having my picture taken. I missed out on taking alot of picture s because I was so overweight I hated looking at myself. This weekend I went to a halloween party and I ended up posting a TON of pics on my facebook page...LOL. My friends looked so great I wanted to share but then it dawned on me...I didn't look too bad either. I still cringe when friends tag me in a picture on facebook...so much so that I immediately check (so as to detag myself :) ) and not a bad picture in the bunch that caused me grief. I catch myself looking at myself in the mirror because I've the mythical Narcissus ;) (Damm Liz Wonder Woman now this...vain beeotch!!!) actually...its because I'm still STUNNED...is that really me?? I did that at the gym last night (helps that the place is FULL OF MIRRORS) ...other than a band around my midsection of stubborn, stubborn...STUBBORN fat that I may name Ann Coulter cause its annoying as hell and never seems to go away...just like her (plus it appeals to my sense of irony to name my ugly fat after a skinny beeotch who is ugly inside and out) I think I'm buying into the fact that I'm thin (HOLY CRAP!!!) my year and a half of sweat, eating right...is paying off!!!

Seriously I have freakin gorgeous friends :)

Ok so I'm thin...now...I'm freaked out about relapsing...that may be a good thing...it will keep me on my toes. I definitely feel that something that has helped is to view this as a lifestyle...not a race....there is no finish line...yeah there is me staring at mirrors unbelievingly or seeing pictures of myself and not recoiling :) but this is something that I (and likely you) will have to keep working on for the rest of my life...sigh...guess its true what they say...if it were easy...everyone would be staring at themselves in the mirror and smiling...HOW ANNOYING ;) More on my freaking out later :)

Lord, give me strength and a caffeine drip...STAT!!!

HELLO LADIES...welcome to my stream of consciousness...swim at your own risk..

So last night...I did not do my Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 :( instead I curled up on my couch and watched Obama and Romney slap each other around a bit...Two things I'll say about the debate...one, laughed the hardest when this occurred - Romney asked: “Mr. President, have you looked at your pension?” Obama responded: “I don’t look at my pension. It’s not as big as yours so it doesn't take as long.”...SMACK!!! LOL...then did anyone notice Ann Romney and Michelle Obama both wore hot pink...gotta say they both looked great...but being my girl Michelle and I are both 5'11, from Chicago and wear the same shoe size (I know this because I saw her inaugural ball gown on display at the Smithsonian last year...along with her size 10 Jimmy Choos -AHLUSTCOVETDROOL!!!) I give it up to Michelle...she looked stunning...very Jackie Kennedy. By the way...just as an FYI...they don't like it at the Smithsonian when you squeal "OMG look at her shoes!!!" and try to claw your way through plate glass...whateves :)

This morning up bright and early to get the girlies ready for picture day and pick up my messy house....how does it always get to be such a MESS...I swear these kids come home and its like a tornado hits...as per usual they are bright and cheery in the morning and all is bliss...bwahahahaha!!! HEAVEN HELP WHOEVER WAKES UP THE WOMEN IN MY HOUSE BEFORE 8AM!!! I'm not a morning person but I'm the Mom so I have to suck it up...Mia is like waking the dead!!! Its 3 wake up calls before she finally gets moving with surly looks and heavy sighing. Emily is usually a bit more animated in the morning...but she has a very wiggly front tooth and is freaking out that it will come out...whats my worry?...that it will pop out before they take her picture and she'll be a bloody mess...so much compassion...sigh...MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!! Yesterday we all got our hair cut....Emily must have thought they were going to cut off her head by the way she screamed and carried on...but in the end it got cut (HER HAIR ;) ) and she was fine...I'd post the end results of hers here but she refused to let me take her picture...rolling my eyes :) so here are Mia and I...

I know I'm her mom but this kid is freaking gorgeous!!!!

Mom could have done with some better lighting :)

Thank goodness after a few tears (Mia didn't like the straightening iron...AT ALL) and one "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!" from Mom...we all got out the door and on our way to school and work...WHEW!!!

Tonight I WILL RIP IT!!! I need Jillian Michaels to yell at me some more...love her yoga meltdown vid btw...though I fell last time I did the side plank position...ya know where you reach up in a side plank...I just kept going and landed on my butt :) I have to get some more run time in too....starting to run out of steam at the end of the night and I'm getting snacky...not GOOD...oh well...this is a work in progress :) I have noticed that it takes alot less food to fill me up. We got pizza last night cause after the hair cuts and running around and hours of homework...MAMA WASN'T COOKING...I had two pieces of sausage and some cold pasta. I used to eat at least 5 pieces of pizza and I'd still be hungry...plus these days I eat more fruits and veggies than I ever did...EVER!!!

On a separate not work out or food related note...another really positive change I've made in the last year was sitting down with the girls at the dinner table...turning off the TV and just relaxing and talking while we eat. Before we just used to eat in front of the TV...then I would start going into another room cause they wanted to watch the Disney channel (I'd still watch Shake Up...and yes I memorized the theme song :)) . I didn't grow up with my family sitting down to dinner...my brothers being much older...horked down their food in front of the TV and were off....giving my parents more gray hairs. My father worked in the evenings...so Mom would feed me in front of the TV and then she'd go watch whatever she would watch (some gawd awful Latin Soap Opera...this was before Telemundo) It never bothered me because my mom was a stay at home mom...if anything...we had a little TOO MUCH together time...as for my Dad...he was supporting all of us...I never wanted for my parents attention...I was the youngest and only girl...HOLLA :) but ladies Wonder Woman ovah here has to find what works for her family...my mind goes miles per minute so sometimes I miss what I REALLY NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO. Anyway we started doing family dinner nights a couple of times a week and I noticed it really helped...now its just about every night...I give the girls Friday night off so they can watch a movie. My brain actually slows down and I really listen...I took a note from THE POTUS (look it up) he said in an interview that when he and his wife sit down to dinner with their girls (is it just me or do you not love that their names are Malia and Sasha :)) they ask them...what was the best part of your day and the worst...the girls and I do this and they LOVE IT!!! so do I. I always end their night by reading Emily a story...ok sometimes we have to skip it but I do, do this most nights...I did this with Mia too and I'm convinced its why the two of them love books so much. I then go hang out with Mia who is usually doing something creative like a fashion or interior design game on the computer...she's always up to something...KID IS GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD :) I let her watch TV til lights out at 10pm...but a couple of times she's outlasted me...and it never fails that I get up at 2am and her TV is on and she's passed out (I say this so you all don't think I'm high and might...Super Mom or Tiger Mom or anything else over than..trying my best...stumbling but ultimately I'm sure my kids will be fine in spite of me :))...she was watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid last night on HBO...I was thinking...thank goodness I put the view locks on the cable boxes..she can't watch anything higher than PG-13.

Ya know why I like the name Wonder Woman...aside from the fact that she's a HOT, BRUNETTE, TALL, AMAZING...36, 24, 36...(haha...only if she 5'3 ;)...personally...I'm a 36, 31, 38...pears are sexy :) ),SMART, JET FLYING (damm she's got that one on me), CRIME FIGHTING (I'm on the neighborhood watch) BABE!!! Cause when I call myself Wonder Woman(trust me I giggle every time I do)...I'm honestly not thinking how awesome I am...I'm WONDERING how its a WONDER  I make it through the day with my sanity, health and sense of humor intact. Its truly a WONDER I'm keeping my weight down, my healthy eating up, my girls happy, fed and clothed...I have my amazing friends, my great and goofy family, a job I love and I have a sorta of BF that looks like Paul Rudd...HOLLA!!! So many WONDERS!!! Hmmm WONDER where I left my keys :)

Catching up with Wonder Woman...muhahaha :)

Hi All J

Sorry I’ve been away but it was a wild week last week, had to take a breather. So to catch you up I put things in to their own compartments…otherwise it just sounds like a stream of consciousness J

1.       Staying Fit….I’m still fighting the good fight. I’ve been combining Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 with her Yoga Meltdown and training for the Hot Chocolate 5k next month…BREATH!!! Its been going ok…need to get more disciplined and find the time but I’m doing it. Getting to the point in my weight loss, keeping fit  journey where I’m just seeing my flaws and getting discouraged…its been such a long road…I sometimes wonder if maybe I can’t do this…then I think…SERIOUSLY…this is the thinnest you’ve been since you were College…shut up and keep going J I may have to have a talk with the ass and thigh fairy though J She’s still way too generous J. I’m between 7 and 5lbs from my latest (and last) goal…kill me now!!!!

2.       My girlies!!! They are FAB!!! The best parts of my life. Its been an interesting challenge this last month having them on my own. When their Dad still lived close by we split the week evenly but since he’s moved three hours away…now they are with him every other weekend. My parents have pitched in to help…which has been great though I try not to abuse that too much. My parents are 76 and 79 respectively so while the girls are a bit older they can still be a handful and I feel guilty having my folks babysit too much. My mom cracked me up the other day when she said “If only I were 60!!” Oh yeah Mom the good ol days when you’d take on the world J My mommie friends have been amazing pitching in…even if only to listen to me whine ;) Overall though everything has been great.

3.       My so-called life…Social life came to a big halt after the summer was over…I still have my moments here and there but I’m kinda of enjoying the scale back. Still having fun dating my adorable guy (he really does hate it when I say he’s adorable…but he is!!!) People ask me if he’s my boyfriend, where are we going with this…whats going on…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH J Well…I do like him a lot, we have a great time together and that’s good for now. I don’t know ladies…everytime I think about sharing my life with someone I feel like someone has a vice grip on my throat (and not in a hot way…did anyone see Broadwalk Empire last night?!?! Damm Bobby!!! Now he could make me reconsider having more babies ;) ) I don’t know when that will go away. I’ve been asked if I’m worried, given my age (GRRRRRR!!!!) about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with…well…no J truly. There is an old saying that goes “Mejor sola que mal acompanada” which translated means its better to be alone than in bad company…and that is the GAWDS HONEST TRUTH there ladies!!! If I don’t find my SUPERMAN (give or take some silly flaws J ) then whats the point. This is not saying I will not leave my heart open…I am…but I won’t settle.

4.       Men in my life that HAVE GOT TO GO!!! I have been fortunate since my divorce to date some really nice guys and some not so nice ones. I have the misfortune (sigh J)  of being too nice…so some of them I’m still in touch with. There must have been something in the air cause THEY ALL CONTACTED ME THIS WEEKEND!!!!  and truly I wanna say “Its been nice knowin’ ya’…don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way OUT!!!” First off…REALLY!!! Call me on a Friday or Saturday to do something THAT DAY???? LAMEBALLS!!!! I actually ended up on my own Saturday night but working out, a good book and bath, was still a better option than these MAMALUKES (I was reading the Godfather…the Italian slang is rolling J) Wanna know something sad…most of these guys have made their reappearance in the last six months…hmmm…seems like word got out that I lost 60lbs J Ugh and they are sooooo transparent that its my appearance that has them suddenly interested. This maybe paranoia on my part but another thing and this really makes me mad… I think, that they have it in minds that because I have kids…my options on limited…so they can swoop in and offer a lousy deal and I’ll be so desperate I’ll take it….WTF!!! So not only am I not interested…they make me physical sick…PLEASE BOYS…DO ME AND YOURSELVES A FAVOR…LOSE MY NUMBER J

So this week…hmmm…working from home tomorrow (I LOVE MY JOB!!!!) the girls and I are getting haircuts…Mia wants bangs (I’ll post pics J ) using this to get her to cut a few inches off as well (I’ll take 2 J ) Emily is getting a trim as well…ME…long layers a few inches…nothing too special. Wednesday School Pictures…three screaming women in a bathroom…and they are 10 and 5…whaddaamIgonnado when they are 18 and 13!!! I told Mia we’d have two bathrooms…one for me and one for them. She says “Mom…you’re gonna leave two teenage girls in ONE BATHROOM?!?!? We’ll fight and kill each other” my oh so motherly sage comment “What the heck do I care, I’ll be in my bathroom", Thursday…School Open House (its like Kiddie Disco Night ;) ) Friday…MOVIE NIGHT at home…”And Hulk…SMASH!!!”, Saturday Pumpkin Patch and running for the Wisconsin Boarder to see if I can get my traitor kids Packers costumes…GRRRR…I’m a Bears Fan and my oldest daughter is a Packer Fan…MY HEART!!!!...I blame her father and aunt for this one…I know I’m not trashing my ex or his sister but DAMMIT!!! J Emily is still a Bears Fan but we are trick or treating with another family (then there is a party with Beer and Chill for the grown ups!!! J I think the kids will be banished to the basement to come down off the sugar high…is it wrong to bar the door to the upstairs??!!!!”) The other kids are going as Bears players so my kids have to constrast…don’t ask me…the kids came up with this…I’m just their BITCH ;) 

Secrets to Happiness...oooohhhh ahhhhh :)

Hello Ladies…

So today I was wondering what am I gonna blog about…Hmmm what is going on in the mind of Wonder Woman (LOL I feel so full of myself when I say it but whatevs J) My kids, work, working out, my weight... my lying whore of a scale, the fact that my parents call me five times a day to ask if I’m thinking of them (If you have Latin or Crazy Parents you will understand this J) What am I doing this weekend (my children’s bidding ;))…so many things going on but then I came across a great article in Time Magazine “Be Happier in Business and Life: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now” If you get a chance take a look. Here is the list of 10 with my personal spin (be warned ;))

1.       Blaming – HA!!! This one got me right away and its HELLZ YA on point. Girls, we’ve all made mistakes but blaming others for them won’t ever help us. Case in point…on my first blog I mentioned that I was divorced but wasn’t going to flame my ex here. I could for destroying my life…LOL…but I don’t. For two reasons…ONE…he is the father of my children and he is a good father to them. TWO…yeah maybe he did stuff but ultimately how I deal with that is on me…not him. When we separated I vowed to myself that I would be better, stronger…I’d rebuild (Hmmm maybe I should have called myself the Bionic Woman…2^nd favorite Super Hero!!!) In order to do that I had to focus on me and not blame other for what I can or can’t do. It’s the same with losing weight…I could go on about how this or that kept me fat (folks you can’t call it Baby Weight if the Baby is heading to Kindergarten) but ultimately only I had the power to change and become the skinny bitch my friends now call me (LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)

2.       Impressing – I’m pretty modest considering I’m Cuban…that may only be funny if you’re Cuban J but let me tell you something for some reason growing up in my culture the flash can appear to be valued more than the substance. I never hear through the Cuban gossip grapevine about how so and so is making a difference curing people of monkey poxes J. I hear how much money who makes, where this person lives, how big is their house, what kinda of car they drive…and then I wonder why my therapist said I had to live an authentic life J People love the real you…warts and all…so be yourself…impress me that way J

3.       Clinging – Ah Men smell a clingy bitch from a mile away J Her name is insecure and if she keeps it up she’ll never be essing some major D…well she will…but she won’t get a phone call the next day ;) I’m not just talking about moves to hook up with some dude, insecure is insecure and it invades all aspects of your life. I was insecure (says Wonder Woman ;)) and it sucks…To be afraid of being afraid…to not take chances…to not get what you want…SUCKS!!! Don’t hold on to something that does not work be it a man, a job, a lifestyle. Girls life is too short to live day in and day out doing the same thing you hate over and over again just cause its comfortable. I know this cause I lived it…don’t waste time!!!

4.       Interrupting – Guilty!!! I do this CONSTANTLY…I have some serious A.D.D. and sometimes if I don’t get the thought out I will lose it…grrr… its rude. Its shows I’m not listening, I’m just worried about what I’m saying. Its not my intention but that’s how it comes across. It’s a struggle to be sure but we all want to be heard…so I have to remember to shut up, breath, listen and FOCUS…squirrel…dammit Liz…focus!!! J

5.       Whining – Whining is not talking out your problems…its just, well whining. I used to whining about my weight…”I’m so fat”; “I can’t believe this store doesn’t sell size 18 LONG” blah, blah. Blah…I did that for years but until I stopped and did something about it…I would have remained the same weight forevah. DO…DON’T WHINING..much anyway J

6.       Controlling – Ladies all we can control is us…we can’t control others…even Wonder Woman does not possess the power of mind control (though the lasso of truth is mighty kick ass!!!) The article I read mentioned that control is short term at best and requires force, fear, authority and pressure…I don’t know about you but that does not sound HOT, FUN nor a recipe for happiness. Today Emily wanted to wear her black boots instead of her brown boots. I knew the outfit she was wearing would look soooooo cute with the brown boots so instead of just letting her wear the black boots…I told her she HAD to wear the brown ones. Crying and yelling followed and for what? The black boots would have been fine but I had the vision in my head and Emily was not following my vision so I use the Mom card J Now granted I’m the Mom I have to keep her safe and help her become a good productive citizen…but she could have worn the black boots…I was just being controlling and all it got me was tears…bleh!!!

7.       Criticizing – Ah don’t ya just love this one!!! One day long ago my ex was leaving the house wearing a ripped up sweat shirt. I thought it looked ridiculous but he seemed happy about it (WHAT!!! HOW DARE HE BE HAPPY LOL) so in all my wisdom (bitchiness) I said “Are you REALLY gonna wear that?” with that I not only took the joy out of wearing that sweatshirt away…I made him feel bad. Why did I do it…cause I was mad at him (I can’t even remember why now!!!) We hurt those that we love…it sucks but we do it. Next time your Hubby is doing something silly and you can see the joy in his face…don’t use that time to knock him down…Talk to him about what is bothering you in a constructive way cause guess what. Lets say the marriage doesn’t work out…if you have kids…YOU STILL HAVE TO TALK TO HIM…so figure it out one way or another before gun play is involved ;) Same with friends and family…talk don’t criticize!!! Remember there but for the grace of God go I.

8.       Preaching – Well darn it now I have to go back and rewrite this whole thing ;) Truly I only speak from my own experience…I know just about as much or more likely less than you. When you start telling people this or that is how it MUST be, the less they will likely listen (at least that’s how I see it J ) or talk to you for that matter… so good luck living alone in your glass house. The party is at my house…join us J

9.       Dwelling – If I dwelt on my failures I wouldn’t even get outta bed. I think having parents that came here from another country really helps with the not dwelling. My parents had a great life back in Cuban…then ol’ Fidel had to ruin that. Who could really blame them if they wanted to dwell on the wrongs of the past…but no…they looked forward. My Dad is definitely the family visionary…he has the gift of seeing possibilities and its one that he gave me (THANK GOD!!!) my Mom who has always had faith in my Dad’s vision followed…and here we are living the American dream in Chicago J  My parents have built a life that most people born and raised here would envy. They have had a long (55 years two weeks ago) and happy marriage…they don’t dwell on the negative in life…they dwell in the positive…they raise each other up and if I get lucky someday I will find someone to do that with as well.

10.   Fearing – Ladies fear is the most insidious one of all and if you don’t change anything else…stop being fearful!!! I’ll let you in on a little fear of mine. I am dating someone I like very much and it freaks me out J We haven’t had the “where is this going” talk cause quite frankly I’m not there yet. Neither is he but I think I wanna have that talk with him somewhere down the road and I’m not sure how I’m going to go about it when the time comes. I’ve been pretty fearless with him so far (the sexting alone would melt your eyes J) so my plan is to just keep going that route but I fear the day that I have to have the talk…UGH!!! But I’m working on it…Work on your fears too and if you have any advice for me and my fear…throw it my way J

Have a great weekend…we’ll talk again Monday (or before then if I get so inspired!!!) I have to RIP it tonight and running in the morning…send me your good vibes!!!