Friday, October 5, 2012
Secrets to Happiness...oooohhhh ahhhhh :)
So today I was wondering what am I gonna blog about…Hmmm what is going on in the mind of Wonder Woman (LOL I feel so full of myself when I say it but whatevs J) My kids, work, working out, my weight... my lying whore of a scale, the fact that my parents call me five times a day to ask if I’m thinking of them (If you have Latin or Crazy Parents you will understand this J) What am I doing this weekend (my children’s bidding ;))…so many things going on but then I came across a great article in Time Magazine “Be Happier in Business and Life: 10 Things to Stop Doing Right Now” If you get a chance take a look. Here is the list of 10 with my personal spin (be warned ;))
1. Blaming – HA!!! This one got me right away and its HELLZ YA on point. Girls, we’ve all made mistakes but blaming others for them won’t ever help us. Case in point…on my first blog I mentioned that I was divorced but wasn’t going to flame my ex here. I could for destroying my life…LOL…but I don’t. For two reasons…ONE…he is the father of my children and he is a good father to them. TWO…yeah maybe he did stuff but ultimately how I deal with that is on me…not him. When we separated I vowed to myself that I would be better, stronger…I’d rebuild (Hmmm maybe I should have called myself the Bionic Woman…2nd favorite Super Hero!!!) In order to do that I had to focus on me and not blame other for what I can or can’t do. It’s the same with losing weight…I could go on about how this or that kept me fat (folks you can’t call it Baby Weight if the Baby is heading to Kindergarten) but ultimately only I had the power to change and become the skinny bitch my friends now call me (LOVE YOU GUYS!!!)
2. Impressing – I’m pretty modest considering I’m Cuban…that may only be funny if you’re Cuban J but let me tell you something for some reason growing up in my culture the flash can appear to be valued more than the substance. I never hear through the Cuban gossip grapevine about how so and so is making a difference curing people of monkey poxes J. I hear how much money who makes, where this person lives, how big is their house, what kinda of car they drive…and then I wonder why my therapist said I had to live an authentic life J People love the real you…warts and all…so be yourself…impress me that way J
3. Clinging – Ah Men smell a clingy bitch from a mile away J Her name is insecure and if she keeps it up she’ll never be essing some major D…well she will…but she won’t get a phone call the next day ;) I’m not just talking about moves to hook up with some dude, insecure is insecure and it invades all aspects of your life. I was insecure (says Wonder Woman ;)) and it sucks…To be afraid of being afraid…to not take chances…to not get what you want…SUCKS!!! Don’t hold on to something that does not work be it a man, a job, a lifestyle. Girls life is too short to live day in and day out doing the same thing you hate over and over again just cause its comfortable. I know this cause I lived it…don’t waste time!!!
4. Interrupting – Guilty!!! I do this CONSTANTLY…I have some serious A.D.D. and sometimes if I don’t get the thought out I will lose it…grrr… its rude. Its shows I’m not listening, I’m just worried about what I’m saying. Its not my intention but that’s how it comes across. It’s a struggle to be sure but we all want to be heard…so I have to remember to shut up, breath, listen and FOCUS…squirrel…dammit Liz…focus!!! J
5. Whining – Whining is not talking out your problems…its just, well whining. I used to whining about my weight…”I’m so fat”; “I can’t believe this store doesn’t sell size 18 LONG” blah, blah. Blah…I did that for years but until I stopped and did something about it…I would have remained the same weight forevah. DO…DON’T WHINING..much anyway J
6. Controlling – Ladies all we can control is us…we can’t control others…even Wonder Woman does not possess the power of mind control (though the lasso of truth is mighty kick ass!!!) The article I read mentioned that control is short term at best and requires force, fear, authority and pressure…I don’t know about you but that does not sound HOT, FUN nor a recipe for happiness. Today Emily wanted to wear her black boots instead of her brown boots. I knew the outfit she was wearing would look soooooo cute with the brown boots so instead of just letting her wear the black boots…I told her she HAD to wear the brown ones. Crying and yelling followed and for what? The black boots would have been fine but I had the vision in my head and Emily was not following my vision so I use the Mom card J Now granted I’m the Mom I have to keep her safe and help her become a good productive citizen…but she could have worn the black boots…I was just being controlling and all it got me was tears…bleh!!!
7. Criticizing – Ah don’t ya just love this one!!! One day long ago my ex was leaving the house wearing a ripped up sweat shirt. I thought it looked ridiculous but he seemed happy about it (WHAT!!! HOW DARE HE BE HAPPY LOL) so in all my wisdom (bitchiness) I said “Are you REALLY gonna wear that?” with that I not only took the joy out of wearing that sweatshirt away…I made him feel bad. Why did I do it…cause I was mad at him (I can’t even remember why now!!!) We hurt those that we love…it sucks but we do it. Next time your Hubby is doing something silly and you can see the joy in his face…don’t use that time to knock him down…Talk to him about what is bothering you in a constructive way cause guess what. Lets say the marriage doesn’t work out…if you have kids…YOU STILL HAVE TO TALK TO HIM…so figure it out one way or another before gun play is involved ;) Same with friends and family…talk don’t criticize!!! Remember there but for the grace of God go I.
8. Preaching – Well darn it now I have to go back and rewrite this whole thing ;) Truly I only speak from my own experience…I know just about as much or more likely less than you. When you start telling people this or that is how it MUST be, the less they will likely listen (at least that’s how I see it J ) or talk to you for that matter… so good luck living alone in your glass house. The party is at my house…join us J
9. Dwelling – If I dwelt on my failures I wouldn’t even get outta bed. I think having parents that came here from another country really helps with the not dwelling. My parents had a great life back in Cuban…then ol’ Fidel had to ruin that. Who could really blame them if they wanted to dwell on the wrongs of the past…but no…they looked forward. My Dad is definitely the family visionary…he has the gift of seeing possibilities and its one that he gave me (THANK GOD!!!) my Mom who has always had faith in my Dad’s vision followed…and here we are living the American dream in Chicago J My parents have built a life that most people born and raised here would envy. They have had a long (55 years two weeks ago) and happy marriage…they don’t dwell on the negative in life…they dwell in the positive…they raise each other up and if I get lucky someday I will find someone to do that with as well.
10. Fearing – Ladies fear is the most insidious one of all and if you don’t change anything else…stop being fearful!!! I’ll let you in on a little fear of mine. I am dating someone I like very much and it freaks me out J We haven’t had the “where is this going” talk cause quite frankly I’m not there yet. Neither is he but I think I wanna have that talk with him somewhere down the road and I’m not sure how I’m going to go about it when the time comes. I’ve been pretty fearless with him so far (the sexting alone would melt your eyes J) so my plan is to just keep going that route but I fear the day that I have to have the talk…UGH!!! But I’m working on it…Work on your fears too and if you have any advice for me and my fear…throw it my way J
Have a great weekend…we’ll talk again Monday (or before then if I get so inspired!!!) I have to RIP it tonight and running in the morning…send me your good vibes!!!