Monday, November 12, 2012

Yikes I forgot to publish my last post so you get a 2fer :)

Hi Everyone :)

So sorry I forgot to publish Wednesdays post so today its like you get two for one :)

I swear the things that happen to me...I can't make them up cause they are just too CLASSIC...I'll get to that in a bit...first...

My day date with Sorta Boyfriend went swimmingly...except I forgot to tell him my birthday was on Monday. I'm truly not embarrassed by my age...I'm 4 F*&KING 1 :) but I just don't make a big deal about my birthday. Anyway he felt bad about not getting me anything so I let him give me an AWESOME foot rub :) He also gave me crap about not being his Facebook friend...I know what your thinking...I'm not hiding anything...neither is he but here is the trap I don't want to fall into. He has got an insane schedule, I have an insane all the this we have to fit in a life and friends and whatnot. I don't want to stalk his page and wonder what is he up to when he's not with me....I don't want to read into his posts...I don't want know who "that" girl is that responded...I don't want to make up stories in my head about what he's doing and get stressed out. I want to enjoy getting to know him and not stress about what I don't know yet. Anyway at some point I will make him my facebook friend...just don't know when :) I know I'm a relationship weirdo but look I've done the marriage thing, I've done the girlfriend bit...I like this guy alot, I just want to enjoy it and not stress.

The girls are with their Dad this weekend so...Friday I did girls night which was fun I also got in a workout (yay me!!!) Saturday I had a FULL day planned so got up early had some coffee and went to the gym. I spent the day with my friend Lissette who I have not hung out with in years. She has been a friend of mine since we were in high school and funny enough what did we do? We went to the Mall :) She and I used to hang out and go to the Mall all the time...and Ladies we didn't miss a know how sometimes you get together with an old friend after many years and it can be not the case here...we had fun :) I was also on a mission to buy a strapless bra.

I have not shopped at Victoria's Secret since before I got married...don't get me wrong I've lingerie shopped since but back in the nineties...Victoria's Secret had beautiful bras and panties and lingerie that fit all sizes...then they started making underwear for seemingly 10 year old boys. After I got married I immediately had a baby and gained 75lbs in the process. I went from a size 36B/C to a 40C...About a year after I had my daughter I went to Victoria's Secret and was told by the snotty salesgirl that they don't carry anything over a 38 in store and that size was hard to find. I was MORTIFIED!!! I took me 10 years to go back into a Victoria's Secret...and that was just this Saturday.

Figured I needed to get sized because I knew I wasn't a 40C anymore but since losing weight...I hadn't got sized. I figured I was likely a 36C. I go in and there had to be 20 salesgirls in the store dying to help me (why doesn't this happen at Target I ask you...WHY!!!) and so sweet too. Anyway I tell them I need to get sized and I get whisked (oh yes...whisked) to the back by Jeanette. Jeanette is adorable she starts telling me how she's beginning this skincare regimen to fight early aging...I look at her and say "Sweetie, you can't be more than 25" she says she's not, she's 22...I start laughing and tell her she has years to worry about it...I've just started paying attention to  it. She then says "Well what are you, 27...28?" I look at her and say "I'm 41" she couldn't believe me...DO THESE GIRLS WORK ON COMMISSION? If so I'm buying every bra in the place!!!  Anywoo Jeanette sizes me and says I'm a 34DD....WHAT!!!???! No way!!! She sized me over my huge bra so it turns out I'm a 34D...the cup size wasn't what floored me (though double D.... :0) it was the 34!!! I haven't been a 34 since college!!! True enough she brought in the 34D bras and they fit beautifully. I think I texted everyone I know to tell them I was a 34D...possibly texting my college exboyfriend...who is now married might have been a mistake...sooo not my fault he got in on the group text :) I was SOOOO excited.

Anyway I must have gotten a little too giddy about it cause I got home and got ready to go to a party. Meanwhile I had eaten 1 salad all day...I just wasn't very hungry but knew I should eat if I'm going to drink. Well I forgot...I'm one of these freaks of nature that forget to eat. My boss and I have a running joke at work...I don't usually go to lunch cause I come in late and work through lunch. At about 2 in the afternoon I get nauseated, my head feels light and I realize I haven't eaten. I've told him about it so now everyday he tells me at around 1 "Liz, go eat something!!"

 I go to the party in a very cute outfit, looking good. I proceed to have a fabulous much so...I'm sucking down Vodka Lemonades like they are water....after my fifth one...I passed the point of no return...everything started to go slo-mo and there was a voice in my head (my own) saying "LIZ!!! YOU F&%KING IDIOT!!!" too late...I at least made it to a corner of the bar where hardly anyone saw me.. throw up!!! OMG!!! I can't move, everything is spinning!!! Luckily a very nice guy who was at the party saw what was happening to me and stayed with me...I don't know why he did but THANK GAWD he did....he helped get me downstairs....where I then proceeded to throw up on my shoes!!! I heard a girl say "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE F*&K IS WRONG WITH HER?!?!?" If I could have formed words I would have told her "I'M F%&KING DYING!!!!" thanks to the very nice guy and the very nice bouncer they lead me out to side of the bar and let me sit for a few minutes...the very nice and cute guy (whose name I now know is Boris) got me in a cab and helped me hero!!! I proceeded to almost pass out in the taxi...As soon as I got to my place...I threw open the door of the cab and throw up on the street (YAY me for not throwing up inside the I don't have to pay a $75 clean up fine) The cabby asked if I needed help...I think he just wanted me the HELL out of his cab. I graciously gracious as someone can be with vomit in their hair. I then hobbled up my stairs...threw up on the stairs...managed to get through the door and onto my bed where I passed THE HELL OUT!!!!

At 5am I woke up still in all my clothes, boots (that I had thrown up on in the club) and even my keys in my hands. I made it to the bathroom, cleaned myself off and got back into bed....I woke up again at 9...I was ALIVE...barely but some food and a bath worked wonders. I was MORTIFIED!!! I haven't gotten that drunkenly sick...since a girls weekend getaway 10 years earlier. I was also curious why NO ONE texted me or called to see where I was. As it turns out Boris told everyone that I wasn't feeling well and he helped get me home...again sigh :) I found him on Facebook and sent him a nice message last night...he responded and I think he asked me out??? Hmmm cute guy that saw me throw up wants to take me out...I MAY MARRY HIM :)

1 comment:

  1. You continue to crack me up! Not good on the vomit part - NEXT TIME EAT SOMETHING! :)