If this was easy...everyone would be a size 2!!!

Ugh...having one of those weeks....I feel like I am eating everything in site. I've even been hitting the kids Halloween Candy....they have a stash of their Dad's favorite candy set aside to give him this weekend...I've been eating out of it...hit bottom on my 2nd Kit Kat last night thinking ...F$%K HIM!!! :)

I gained 3lbs over the last week. I might have mentioned that I do Weight Watchers, which I LOVE!!! Just going every week and getting on the scale is huge for me...sometimes I stay for the meetings...other times no but I'm reminded when I fall off the wagon how important it is to track. I am pretty good after a year of being aware of what I eat but no one is perfect. I thought I was doing ok but when I started tracking again I realized I was really EATING through those points :)

Soooo what am I gonna do about it...sigh :) I'm gonna do what Frank Sinatra says..."pick myself up and get back in the race"

Btw I have a great picture of him on my refrigerator...its a post card of Frank back in his super cool era with a caption that says "This is Frank's World and we're just living in it" I love that...its so ballsy :) kinda of like I live my life now :) I have to say this being in my 40s thing...kinda of rocks :) I was always so insecure when I was younger and then my 30s ...meh, but now!!! LOOK THE F*&K OUT CAUSE HERE I AM!!! :)

Funny thing is just feeling that way, other people buy into it...I don't think I've ever gotten as much attention or compliments as I do now (from Men and Women)....yeah I'm thinner but thats not all. I look good but I feel good too and I think thats what I put out there and it is coming back to me. I say what I feel, I don't hold back...I'm not a bitch about it or anything (at least I don't think I am :) ) but I'm not going to hold back.  I recently told sorta BF that this is the happiest I've been in my life...He said "Thank you"...I rolled my eyes...I said "Yeah ok...you're part of it but so is this amazing feeling that my life is my own"

Yep I am the captain of my ship!!! So better hit the gym, eat healthy....throw the candy overboard and hey everyone!!! Margaritas on the main deck!!!

Yikes I forgot to publish my last post so you get a 2fer :)

Hi Everyone :)

So sorry I forgot to publish Wednesdays post so today its like you get two for one :)

I swear the things that happen to me...I can't make them up cause they are just too CLASSIC...I'll get to that in a bit...first...

My day date with Sorta Boyfriend went swimmingly...except I forgot to tell him my birthday was on Monday. I'm truly not embarrassed by my age...I'm 4 F*&KING 1 :) but I just don't make a big deal about my birthday. Anyway he felt bad about not getting me anything so I let him give me an AWESOME foot rub :) He also gave me crap about not being his Facebook friend...I know what your thinking...I'm not hiding anything...neither is he but here is the trap I don't want to fall into. He has got an insane schedule, I have an insane schedule...in all the this we have to fit in a life and friends and whatnot. I don't want to stalk his page and wonder what is he up to when he's not with me....I don't want to read into his posts...I don't want know who "that" girl is that responded...I don't want to make up stories in my head about what he's doing and get stressed out. I want to enjoy getting to know him and not stress about what I don't know yet. Anyway at some point I will make him my facebook friend...just don't know when :) I know I'm a relationship weirdo but look I've done the marriage thing, I've done the girlfriend bit...I like this guy alot, I just want to enjoy it and not stress.

The girls are with their Dad this weekend so...Friday I did girls night which was fun I also got in a workout (yay me!!!) Saturday I had a FULL day planned so got up early had some coffee and went to the gym. I spent the day with my friend Lissette who I have not hung out with in years. She has been a friend of mine since we were in high school and funny enough what did we do? We went to the Mall :) She and I used to hang out and go to the Mall all the time...and Ladies we didn't miss a beat...you know how sometimes you get together with an old friend after many years and it can be awkward...so not the case here...we had fun :) I was also on a mission to buy a strapless bra.

I have not shopped at Victoria's Secret since before I got married...don't get me wrong I've lingerie shopped since but back in the nineties...Victoria's Secret had beautiful bras and panties and lingerie that fit all sizes...then they started making underwear for seemingly 10 year old boys. After I got married I immediately had a baby and gained 75lbs in the process. I went from a size 36B/C to a 40C...About a year after I had my daughter I went to Victoria's Secret and was told by the snotty salesgirl that they don't carry anything over a 38 in store and that size was hard to find. I was MORTIFIED!!! I took me 10 years to go back into a Victoria's Secret...and that was just this Saturday.

Figured I needed to get sized because I knew I wasn't a 40C anymore but since losing weight...I hadn't got sized. I figured I was likely a 36C. I go in and there had to be 20 salesgirls in the store dying to help me (why doesn't this happen at Target I ask you...WHY!!!) and so sweet too. Anyway I tell them I need to get sized and I get whisked (oh yes...whisked) to the back by Jeanette. Jeanette is adorable she starts telling me how she's beginning this skincare regimen to fight early aging...I look at her and say "Sweetie, you can't be more than 25" she says she's not, she's 22...I start laughing and tell her she has years to worry about it...I've just started paying attention to  it. She then says "Well what are you, 27...28?" I look at her and say "I'm 41" she couldn't believe me...DO THESE GIRLS WORK ON COMMISSION? If so I'm buying every bra in the place!!!  Anywoo Jeanette sizes me and says I'm a 34DD....WHAT!!!???! No way!!! She sized me over my huge bra so it turns out I'm a 34D...the cup size wasn't what floored me (though double D.... :0) it was the 34!!! I haven't been a 34 since college!!! True enough she brought in the 34D bras and they fit beautifully. I think I texted everyone I know to tell them I was a 34D...possibly texting my college exboyfriend...who is now married might have been a mistake...sooo not my fault he got in on the group text :) I was SOOOO excited.

Anyway I must have gotten a little too giddy about it cause I got home and got ready to go to a party. Meanwhile I had eaten 1 salad all day...I just wasn't very hungry but knew I should eat if I'm going to drink. Well I forgot...I'm one of these freaks of nature that forget to eat. My boss and I have a running joke at work...I don't usually go to lunch cause I come in late and work through lunch. At about 2 in the afternoon I get nauseated, my head feels light and I realize I haven't eaten. I've told him about it so now everyday he tells me at around 1 "Liz, go eat something!!"

 I go to the party in a very cute outfit, looking good. I proceed to have a fabulous time...so much so...I'm sucking down Vodka Lemonades like they are water....after my fifth one...I passed the point of no return...everything started to go slo-mo and there was a voice in my head (my own) saying "LIZ!!! YOU F&%KING IDIOT!!!" too late...I at least made it to a corner of the bar where hardly anyone saw me.. throw up!!! OMG!!! I can't move, everything is spinning!!! Luckily a very nice guy who was at the party saw what was happening to me and stayed with me...I don't know why he did but THANK GAWD he did....he helped get me downstairs....where I then proceeded to throw up on my shoes!!! I heard a girl say "OH MY GOD, WHAT THE F*&K IS WRONG WITH HER?!?!?" If I could have formed words I would have told her "I'M F%&KING DYING!!!!" thanks to the very nice guy and the very nice bouncer they lead me out to side of the bar and let me sit for a few minutes...the very nice and cute guy (whose name I now know is Boris) got me in a cab and helped me home...sigh...my hero!!! I proceeded to almost pass out in the taxi...As soon as I got to my place...I threw open the door of the cab and throw up on the street (YAY me for not throwing up inside the cab...now I don't have to pay a $75 clean up fine) The cabby asked if I needed help...I think he just wanted me the HELL out of his cab. I graciously declined...as gracious as someone can be with vomit in their hair. I then hobbled up my stairs...threw up on the stairs...managed to get through the door and onto my bed where I passed THE HELL OUT!!!!

At 5am I woke up still in all my clothes, boots (that I had thrown up on in the club) and even my keys in my hands. I made it to the bathroom, cleaned myself off and got back into bed....I woke up again at 9...I was ALIVE...barely but some food and a bath worked wonders. I was MORTIFIED!!! I haven't gotten that drunkenly sick...since a girls weekend getaway 10 years earlier. I was also curious why NO ONE texted me or called to see where I was. As it turns out Boris told everyone that I wasn't feeling well and he helped get me home...again sigh :) I found him on Facebook and sent him a nice message last night...he responded and I think he asked me out??? Hmmm cute guy that saw me throw up wants to take me out...I MAY MARRY HIM :)

I think I feel myself expanding????

I think I have gotten so good at the “weight game” I know when I’ve gained…even if its only a pound or two.

WHAT A WEEK…and its only Wednesday!!! Stick a fork in me I am DOOOOONE!!!! I’ve got to shake it off and get back to my Wonder Woman-ness…to give you an idea of how out of energy I’ve been…

I haven’t read Emily a bedtime story this week, we skipped baths yesterday because I couldn’t deal with it and they smelled….OK... I didn’t review Mia’s homework yesterday or Monday (semester is over as of today…she’s getting As and Bs…MEH :) ) my car is such a mess right now…IT HAS TO BE CLEANED…plus there is an ODOR?!?! I can only imagine something got spilled because I can’t find the source…aka dead animal carcass. I keep forgetting to send beads, leaves and other assorted stuff for my youngest daughter’s art class (maybe one overachieving parent sent extras and she can use those) the laundry is piling up, I must puck my eyebrows before they meet in the middle for the that hot unibrow look!!! And I’m pretty sure after all my fabulous eating thing week and no working out…I’m up a pound or two…or four ;) 

Why so out of it….here’s why….

Monday…after a mini bday celebration with the girls (my youngest wasn’t feeling well) I laid down and passed OUT!!! I’m thinking it was a comb of running the Hot Chocolate 5k the day before, freezing (although not as badly as my soulmate Melissa did…damn that girl is a trooper…and she ran that 5K in 24 mins!!!) overeating at brunch after the race(if you want a place in downtown Chicago to go eat brunch, Lou Mitchells on Jefferson!!!) heading out to the burbs to pick up my girls from grandmas, then coming home and helping put together a report for my oldest daughter’s English class…SHOOT ME!!!

Back to Monday…B-DAY!!!…got up and going and proceeded to eat sooooo much sugar…I had two pieces of that cookie cake I posed with Monday (courtesy again of AMAZBALLS MELISSA!!!...I’m not kidding she is my soulmate…straight or gay I’d marry her LOL) two brownies…I could feel the sugar coarsing through my veins. A couple of years ago I could have put that away and more but healthy eating really makes me FEEL it when I eat the bad (BUT OH SO YUMMY)stuff. At 3pm I run out to my daughter’s school to pick her up cause she got sick L she’s a tank though…back in action!!!

Last night (that was Tuesday??? Right?) I helped another single mom in need and picked up her daughter from daycare along with mine (I love when I’m able to help out…cause I know what its like to need help in return!!!) made dinner…yelled at my kids A LOT!!! (OMG they came home so wound up!!! ) then after dinner we settled in to watch the election returns. I will say it now…I supported OBAMA (you’re SHOCKED, right? ;) ) anyway in the early afternoon I started getting sick thinking Romney might win….I have nothing against the guy, I think he’s actually pretty moderate but (and this is my opinion ladies) the man had no conviction, he would say ANYTHING to get elected…that said I had no clear idea of what he would do once he got into office so that freaked me out. Anyway…Emily passed out after they called Pennsylvannia for Obama. Mia hung on to the bitter end but went to bed right after. I wanted to stay up and watch Obama’s speech…I ended up passed out on the couch til 3am

Tonight we’ll be better…. I’ll come home, make dinner, throw in some laundry, find some beads and leaves while I get Emily in the bath, I’ll pluck my brows while she’s in there so she can ask a million questions “Mom, what are you doing?”. ”Why are you plucking your eyebrows?”, ”Do I have to pluck my eyebrows?” Meanwhile Mia will do homework or put it out so I can check it. I’ll get Emily out of the bath, get it ready for Mia…tell Mia a 15minute shower NOT a 1.5 hour shower/bath…Detangle Emily’s hair, cut her nails, check her ears. Pick up my house, do the dishes…finally notice Mia has been in the shower for 30minutes…poke my head in and tell her to wrap it up. Put Emily to bed, read her two stories…keep my eye out for Mia (she likes to come out of the bathroom soaking wet so badly she puddles on her way to her room) remind her to dry herself off completely. Kiss Emily goodnight…go get her glass of milk…kiss her goodnight again. Go check on Mia…check her nails, remind her to detangle her hair. Smackdown with Jillian for 30minutes. Go see Mia while I’m sweating profusely, tell her Jillian is trying to kill me while we chat for a bit before her bedtime. Put her to bed, kiss goodnight. Take a bath…crawl into bed…damm I’m tired just thinking about all this LOL.

Fear not for my sanity!!! …have a planned breakfast date with sorta boyfriend on Thursday J I took the day off cause the kids both have afterschool activities I need to be there for. We’re going to grab breakfast and hang out cause he has to get to bed by 3pm to sleep til 9pm so he can go to work. I love dating someone whose schedule is as nuts as mine. Thursday AM Mimmosas!!! I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

As for the weight gain….I’ll work on it J

My Calender MUST be Broken!!! but I'm thankful!!!

Ladies...I've not been looking forward to this day!!! Haven't been dreading it, just not looking forward to it. Today I am 41...WTF!!! How did that happen?!?! as much as I'd like to say the Calender is way off...its November 5, 2012....I came into the world on November 5, 1971...I guess I believe it due to the FAB fashions that everyone had on in the pictures surrounding my birth...even I wore a maxi skirt for my 1st birthday....either that or it was an early staging of "Anchorman - The Legend of Ron Burgundy" ;) Ok so you know what that means....Top Ten List of things that prove...I'm...sigh...41....

1. My driver's license says so...dammit!!! Oh well...it also says I weigh what I did when I was 16...bwahahahaha!!!

2. My father's mutton chops, in my first b-day pics, eclipse Dan Fantana's in Anchorman  :)

3. The friday nights of my youth consisted of The Dukes of Hazzard at 7pm, Dallas at 8pm and Falcon Crest at 9pm...and it never crossed my parents mind not to let their 9 year old watch that stuff...LOL

4. I saw the original Star Wars at the movie theater and remember it...it was at the Hillside Square (that dates me even more for those of you that know it...the last movie I ever saw there....The Blair Witch Project...now it a mega church LOL)

5. My brother (he's 14 years older than me...poor bastard ;)) brought a front loading Betamax that I remember watching Saturday Night Fever on....I was too young to see most of it but he'd fast forward to the dancing parts for me...I thought that was AMAZING :)

6. I remember riding in my father's 1974 Ford Pinto (I think it was rated one of the worst cars ever made...EVER!!!)

7. I remember when they played videos on MTV...and I watched it ALL THE TIME!!!

8. I was in love at some point with every member of Duran Duran and EVERYONE knew it!!!

9. I wore the following fashions: Gauchos, head bands, leg warmers, bell bottoms, parchute pants, Z Cavarrichis, Neon, Body suits, stretchy stirrup pants, Hammer pants, flannel, workboots, penny loafers, cowboy boots...

10. I've worn my hair in the following styles - The Dorothy Hamil, Long and wavy...my hippie do as my mom liked to call it. Shag...think Jane Fonda in the 70s LOL, Perm!!! OH I LET MY SOUL GLOW!!! Straight with bangs (EPIC FAIL) THE RACHEL, FROSTED...yum lol, highlights, low lights...and now I'm just trying to hide the grays :)

Ok so I buy it I'm 41...BLEH...but here is my top ten list of things that make that OK...you knew it was coming...I love lists :)

1. I have never seen the number 200 on my scale in my forties :) I spent all of my 30s over two hundred pounds...and I plan on never seeing that number again.

2. Today I am wearing a dress that I wore on my 40th birthday except...this one is a size 8, that one was a size 14...HOLLA!!!

3. My oldest daughter told me I don't look a day over 31 and meant it...awww!!! She's getting a car ;)

4. My beautiful girls wished me a Happy Birthday this morning...they are my world!!!

5. I have amazing friends that fill me with such happiness...I wouldn't know what to do without them.

6. THIS is the happiest I've ever been

7. My sorta boyfriend is still in his 20s MUAHAHAHA!!!

8. I got a birthday cookie with Wonder Woman on it...SCORE!!!

9. Got on the scale..and wasthisclose to my goal weight!!!!

10. My life isn't any where near the ball park of perfect but I'm ok with that...I'll keep working on it but everyday I wake up with a sense of hope and a thrill to see whats coming...just hope I can keep that up for the next forty plus years!!!!

What do you do when IT just can't be fixed!!!!

Been toying around with the idea of blogging about being divorced…I keep wanting to say…its hard, I don’t wish it on anyone (I certainly don’t!!!) but here is MY thing…My life is much better and much happier since I’ve been divorced…and why, because it was the right decision for me.

My marriage had fallen beyond repair. I blame myself for some of it but I did try. I’m not saying he didn’t…he’s not here to comment J I just know I gave up long before we even separated….I think that is what makes me sad but somewhere along the way my will to fight it out was sucked out of me.

Ok then…what do you do when you are in a marriage YOU KNOW ISN’T WORKING AND ISN’T GOING TO WORK? Well if you are like me and sooooo many other women…you suck it up and put on a brave face J Im glad I didn’t get on Facebook until my marriage was pretty much over. There is a study out there that says looking at other peoples happy facebook pics and statuses actually make us more depressed…LOL. That’s because we all suck it up and put on a brave face J Most of us are not going to put crappy pictures of ourselves on Facebook and bemoan our life for everyone including our ex-boyfriends, who we are still friends with to see…unless you are THAT person J We all have that one on Facebook…they put quotes up like how amazingly strong they are and how shitty life is OVER AND OVER AND OVER again J I’ve got that friend(s)…none of you of course J and I also have the incredibly hot friend who bemoans getting objectified by men, hated by women but constantly posts half naked pictures of herself (rolling my eyes!!!)

Here is a top ten list of things we do when surviving the death throes of marriage…how we deal when its over BUT it ain’t over (this is meant to be humorous/painful…but its ok…I’m with you, holding your hand…lets wade across the pond of shattered emotions, shall we?…don’t try these at home…if you do…TELL ME EVERTHING!!!)  :

1.       EAT LIKE SHIT – AHHHH YEAH that second bowl of KFC’s mashed potato bowl will kill the pain!!! Mashed potatoes, fried chicken nuggets, cheese, gravy, corn…its NUTRITIONAL CRACK!!! One hit and you are hooked!!! Can’t talk to your friends cause your embarrassed then EAT!!!!, can’t talk to your spouse cause you’d rather swim across the alligator/anaconda infested swamp…EAT!!!! Can’t have an affair cause its just not you and face it who’d want you while stuffing your face with this crap…EAT!!! Gain 60lbs and then the mirror will reflect just how you feel!!!!

2.       HAVE AN AFFAIR – In retrospect I should have gone this route ;) kidding, truly..but at least it wouldn’t have taken me a year to lose weight.  I have no moral high ground on this one…life is one trick bitch to manage and my glass house won’t tolerate stones. If this were a friend of mine, I’d hug her and say “Be safe, don’t get caught (if you do…my couch is available) and remind me of my alibi responsibilities J” )

3.       THROW YOURSELF INTO A HOBBY – Life at home SUCKS HAIRY BALLS…so do something that keeps you busy. I read A LOT…especially Chick Lit…it was comforting to read about others screwed up lives when mine was going down the drain. I recommend Jennifer Weiner “Good In Bed” LOVE, LOVE, LOVE her books!!!

4.       GET ANOTHER TV – UGH (ok going to flame the ex a bit here...just a bit though...he won't even feel it LOL)  my ex loved to watch “The Simpsons” and “That 70s Show”….I can still picture him on far right side of the couch, computer in hand…the thought makes me groan inwardly. GODFORBID ID WANT TO WATCH ANYTHING…cause he hated most of what I wanted to watch…I do enjoy my trash tv but not with his constant, unrelenting commentary about how these shows signal the fall of Western Civilization and I should feel bad about watching them…SHOOT ME!!!! Go into the other room ladies!!!!

5.       IT’S THE WEEKEND….SCATTER!!!! – Spending quality family time…yeah…not so much. You two can barely stand the site of each other so best to retreat. Hang out with family, friends (remember happy face…bring your probing question deflector)…do your own thing and count the days til you can figure out a solution to this mess…and if its this bad…you really better think!!!

6.       SPEND EXTRA TIME AT WORK – Coming home to a powder keg of pain sounds as much fun as having eyeball surgery with a needle and Nurse Ratched holding your hand J Stay late at work…finish that report that’s due…next month J

7.       HONE YOUR ACTING SKILLS (your children need you!!!)  - the things we do for our babies…heck, we wouldn’t even be here still if it weren’t for them. We all love our kids and only want them to have the best…even if it’s a lie. You are dying on the inside and smiling on the outside…hold back the tears when you kiss your babies and remember that they are the bright spots in this mess…btw…when the shit hits the fan and you FINALLY go your separate ways…I promise you they will be fine. If you put their needs first…it will be ok.

8.       HAVE A DRINK OR 5 – Why does everything feel better with a bottle of Pinot Noir?…ummm…because its like the KFC crack bowl…you aren’t dealing with the pain, you are numbing yourself. Why do we have alcoholics and drug addicts…for many reason but one of them I think is that LIFE IS HARD…so hard you feel yourself in despair…its like being at the bottom of a well with no ladder…I get it but guuuuurl…you are no help to anyone, least of all yourself drunk or stoned. Make yourself the ladder (EASY TO SAY FOR A TALL BEEOTCH!!!) and crawl out..NOW!!! Call me…I’ll jump in, you can stand on my shoulders and then send down a rope…or better yet…I’ll send down the rope and pull you out…remember…I have a couch J

9.       HIDE!!! Here is another “fabulous”…”I don’t want to deal with my pain” move…hide!!! Don’t see your friends, cause they’ll ask questions…don’t see your family…they’ll ask even more questions…you want the Spanish Inquistion…come talk to my mother!!! Did you know 60lbs of extra fat is like a cloak of invisibility…and a smile…even better.

10.   SCRAP THIS LIST!!!! All of the above SUCKS!!!! I’ve done most of it (9/10 J) I DOESN’T WORK!!! It’s a band-aid on a KNIFE WOUND.

Ladies, ask yourself is my marriage worth saving? Is it save-able? If you answer yes then DO IT!!! Do everything you can to save your marriage and be happy. I've seen truly happy marriages...I'm jealous yet they fill me with love and hope :) If not, if you can’t…its time to move on. I know its easy to say but I’ve done it…and it wasn’t overnight and it wasn’t after reading anyones charming blog J It took years but I did it…you can too!!! Everyday…I find something to be grateful for and happy about…no matter what!!! Call me…I’ve got rope and I am one tough BITCH J

I think I need oxygen!!!

Hello Ladies….

I know I know…I said I’d post yesterday…but I have an excuse…the dog ate my computer? The answer is 12? I’m sorry :( It was one of the two things on my to do list I couldn’t finish…but just in case you think I sat around all day…THINK AGAIN!!!!

I knew taking Halloween off work would be a good idea. I toyed around with the idea of working from home instead of taking the day off…but I would have needed to pay attention to work stuff and that WOULD HAVE NEVER HAPPENED given all I had to do. Here is the the list and what happened:

1.      Get the girls ready for Halloween – My beautiful daughters betrayed me with their costumes….they went as a Green Bay Packers Player and Cheerleader. My oldest daughter was going to dress up as Aaron Rodgers, their quarterback, but then she fell in love with some Green Bay PJ pants so her official costume was “Aaron Rodgers wakes up late on Sunday and is running to Lambeau before game time” My hope is he doesn’t make it and the Bears crush them 45-0 but I keep this thought to myself….after all I was the Hoodwinked Bears Fan that drove them up to Kenosha WI to buy this CRAP…I mean outfits :) I LOVE MY KIDS, I LOVE MY KIDS!!!!

Cute Little Traitors!!! :)

2.      Go get breakfast at Dunkin Donuts – Me and the girls are not what you’d call morning people…in fact on the weekends we are lucky to get out the door to do anything by noon…but mention donuts or bacon and WE’RE OFF!!! Plus I was off work and feeling like have some fun. Did you know Dunkin Donuts has Red Velvet Munchkins?!?!? I had ONE…plus a coffee (skim milk with Splenda (sweetner naysayers…I know)!!! The girls had 20…BLEH...I should feel bad letting them have that much sugar…but truthfully I’m thinking as one famous mom said many years ago “From 8 to 3 they are the State’s Problem!!”and then sent them on their blissful, Packer loving, sugar high way.

3.      Buy treats for their classes – Yeah I should have done this already…but I didn’t…I knew I had the time off and they weren’t having their class parties til the afternoon. No edible treats (ARGH!!!!) so I’m on a mission to buy Halloween pencils and notebooks. Nothing at the Dollar Store so I run to Target next door…do you know what happens at these stores on Halloween morning? They begin putting out Christmas stuff!?!?!?! I did manage to find Halloween gift bags, glow sticks and stickers…good enough…better do some groceries too…geez I am out of everything…one hour and a couple of hundred dollars later, I’m out the door….

4.      Assemble gift bags…oh and put away the groceries before they melt – Groceries put away…breakout into a sweat assembling gift bags…notice the time…ACK…10:15…by 10:20 they are ready to go…I’m out the door…drive two blocks (LIZ!!! WTF!!!) drop the gift bags at school….MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!!!

5.      GO VOTE – I run out of the school…slide across the hood of my car, jump in and go vote (Ok lying about my bad ass hood sliding…but how KEWL would that have been!!!)…meanwhile my friend Laura is calling me about some funny pic on Facebook…OMG…someone posted something about me!?!? (YES LIZ…cause the world revolves around you!!!! ;) ) she says its not about me (WHAT!!! …then why do I care? :) )  its just funny and I need to download it now!!! So yes…I AM DRIVING AND MESSING WITH MY PHONE….CHICAGO PD…COME AND GET ME!!! Can’t download the darn thing cause my phone doesn’t want to cooperate…get to the early voting place…tell Laura I’ll download it later and call her (Yeah…forgot the whole conversation before I hit “END” on my phone) run in to vote…the line is out the door. I swear…audibly :o everyone looks up….I book out the door (that was the other thing I didn’t get done on my to do list!!!)

6.      Buy a License Plate Sticker…which expires…TODAY :)- Leave the early voting place after saying “WTF!!!” so loudly I think President Obama heard it (Mr. President…I apologize…I am voting for you once the line gets shorter!!! :)) I can’t go to my local currency exchange OH NO…that would be too easy. My car required emissions test proof so I gotta go downtown…meh…its 10 mins away…no problem…its 10:45…I’ll be back before the 1pm Halloween Show at school. I’ll get that done and go to the farmers market out there and get my veggies…I know you are thinking “LIZ…NOOOOOO THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN DO IT!!!”…UMM…did I mention…I am WONDER WOMAN…beeeaches!!! :) stop at Starbucks and get a breakfast sandwich…eat it in the car…Buy my license plate sticker, get my veggies and got back home by 12:15…tidy up…put my exercise clothes on and THIS TIME…I walk the two blocks to school.

7.      Watch my youngest daughter in the Halloween show….AWWW she was soooooo cute…she is one of the tallest kindergarteners so she’s easy to spot on stage…I know those of you that know my 5’11 @ss are SHOCKED that my kids are tall. Not only is she tall but sooooo expressive…a born ham!!! She was wonderful!!! I toy with the idea of skipping out after she’s done but there is the parade right after…grrr…but the show zooms by in an hour. I almost fall asleep cause it’s the most sitting I’ve done all day :)

8.      Watch the Halloween parade….bless my kid’s school for making this brief…plus look at my girl!!! She was so happy to see me…worth every minute :) Its 2:15…if I go to the gym now…I can get my 5k run and strength training in before picking up the girls at 4:30pm.

Look...she wanted a hug!!! KID KILLS ME!!!!

9.      Workout – Get to the gym…won’t lie…this was tough…I’m already running on empty so I gutted out that 5k on the treadmill . Watched “Jersey Shore” while running….FIST PUMP!!!. 5K done…strength training in the workout studio….ah the studio is empty. I love the mirrors in there cause they do really help with keeping form…but I am fighting through this…my body is SCREAMING to stop but I keep going until the very end…when I came up from a stretch…I saw stars…literally…UH OH…I’m going to faint!?!? I’m going to pass out in the studio which is separate from the rest of the gym and no one will find me for hours :0…wonder if the hot owner will give me mouth to mouth…sadly we will never know :) I managed to recover and not faint…Its 3:30 thank GAWD I live in the city and there is a Starbucks downstairs. Get my skinny Pumpkin Spice latte….I feel like a $100 now:)

10.     Get home and shower…my chest hurts?!?! OMG am I have a heartattack? (NO LIZ YOU’VE HAD ONE BREAKFAST SANDWICH ALLLL DAY and THREE GIANT COFFEES…you are over caffeinated and under fed :)) shower…put on my mommy-fied Wonder Woman costume. Mia would not allow me to show any skin so I had to put on cuddle duds under my costume.

11.     Pick up the girls – HA…only running 5 mins late to get the girls. Mia whacks her head in her hand when she sees me in my costume as though to say I’m embarrassing her (SCORE!!!!)

12.     Go to my friend Denise’s house for the Halloween Festivities…if there is a Heaven, it feels a lot like my friend Denise’s house…I LOVE GOING THERE…she always has food, alcohol and a smile. She is the kind of person that just makes you feel good by knowing her…asking anyone…who doesn’t like Denise?!? If they don’t I’m going to kick their ass!!! J My girls LOVE going to Denise’s house too…they go to school with her three wonderful kids…if I were a lost kid on Halloween night…I’d want to end up at Denise’s house:) anyway…you get the picture :) She’s even got a Weight Watchers receipe chill ready to go…she’s AMAZBALLS!!!

13.     Trick or Treating…12 kids, 5 grown ups, stomach full of chill and some wine…LETS DO THIS MUTHA!!! We live in one of the best neighborhoods in Chicago for trick or treating….one of the 758 things I love out my city :) After an hour we come back to Denise’s…the kids do a candy trade…hmmm…where’d that wine go??

14.     Trick or Treating Part Deaux…thinking that only the older kids would want to go, we plan on some more trick or treating…ALL the kids want to go…WE’RE OFF…after another hour  and we’re back in. I get a Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer, sit on the couch while Denise puts together a trougth of pizza for me to take home…did I mention she’s AMAZBALLS?!?!

15.     Get home and go through the kid’s candy…the collection was staggering….so we decided to donate a bunch of candy to the Troops…here’s a great story for you…the candy goes overseas, the troops have some but they also carry it with them and give to kids who have never had candy. We had a huge bag of candy to donate. The girls also made a pile of Kit Kat bars and Reese Peanut Butter Cups to give to their Dad. Even so…still plenty of candy that I’ll finally throw out next Spring. :)

16.     EVERYONE GO TO SLEEP….GO TO SLEEP!!!! – “Mommy PULLLEASE read me a story!!!” I’m just about comatose but ok…ONE STORY!!! I read to Emily and put her to bed…glitter and make up on her face (I’ll get it in the morning!!!)

17.     Kiss Mia goodnight

18.     Climb into Bed!!! COMA...SNOOOOOORRREEEE!!!!

One of the best Halloween’s ever!!!!

This weekend HOT CHOCOLATE 5K BAYBEE!!!!

Did ya miss me? Cause I'm getting smaller :) and now I'm VAIN ;)

Sorry ladies, had a combination of writers block and crazy schedule going on last week. I kept wanting to say something but something kept tearing me away..work likely...kids, even more likely and having fun...that too :)

I had a perfect weekend! Full of friends, good times, family and ended curled up with my girlies before bed last night. SO I DID IT!!! Went as Wonder Woman this year (most thought it was my costume...but its my secret identity as we all know) Had thought about going all out..really spending it up and getting the Linda Carter knock off copy...but in the end...the Partycity version won out. Can I tell you the Wonder Woman costume is POPULAR...couldn't find it anywhere....for a few weeks I would randomly check Party City(s) and they were all out. Funny enough I have a Party City right down my street and thats where I found mine. When I got the costume it was at about this time that the idea that I'm a size MEDIUM sank in.

Don't know what I'm so happy about...oh yeah...I LOOK GOOD LOL

Girls...I've been a large most of my life (I'm tall so there is a length thing) I have a large frame...ugh, have I mentioned how much I hate that term...its like saying I'm big boned...can't they come up with something better? Anyway most costumes, in my experience, tend to run small so I was sure I needed a Wonder Woman costume size large. I tried the large Wonder Woman costume and it was baggie and just didn't fit right...so I tried on the meduim...bit snug to get around my pear shape...think I'm going to say I'm genie bottle shaped ;) but the fit was GREAT...IN MEDIUM...WOOHOO!!! After that I really started to notice...I'm not a large...I'M NOT A LARGE?!?! I think we all have that feeling when we are losing weight...especially when you lose ALOT of weight...your physical state changes faster than your mental state. Here is an example...for years I HATED having my picture taken. I missed out on taking alot of picture s because I was so overweight I hated looking at myself. This weekend I went to a halloween party and I ended up posting a TON of pics on my facebook page...LOL. My friends looked so great I wanted to share but then it dawned on me...I didn't look too bad either. I still cringe when friends tag me in a picture on facebook...so much so that I immediately check (so as to detag myself :) ) and not a bad picture in the bunch that caused me grief. I catch myself looking at myself in the mirror because I've the mythical Narcissus ;) (Damm Liz Wonder Woman now this...vain beeotch!!!) actually...its because I'm still STUNNED...is that really me?? I did that at the gym last night (helps that the place is FULL OF MIRRORS) ...other than a band around my midsection of stubborn, stubborn...STUBBORN fat that I may name Ann Coulter cause its annoying as hell and never seems to go away...just like her (plus it appeals to my sense of irony to name my ugly fat after a skinny beeotch who is ugly inside and out) I think I'm buying into the fact that I'm thin (HOLY CRAP!!!) my year and a half of sweat, eating right...is paying off!!!

Seriously I have freakin gorgeous friends :)

Ok so I'm thin...now...I'm freaked out about relapsing...that may be a good thing...it will keep me on my toes. I definitely feel that something that has helped is to view this as a lifestyle...not a race....there is no finish line...yeah there is me staring at mirrors unbelievingly or seeing pictures of myself and not recoiling :) but this is something that I (and likely you) will have to keep working on for the rest of my life...sigh...guess its true what they say...if it were easy...everyone would be staring at themselves in the mirror and smiling...HOW ANNOYING ;) More on my freaking out later :)

Lord, give me strength and a caffeine drip...STAT!!!

HELLO LADIES...welcome to my stream of consciousness...swim at your own risk..

So last night...I did not do my Jillian Michaels Ripped in 30 :( instead I curled up on my couch and watched Obama and Romney slap each other around a bit...Two things I'll say about the debate...one, laughed the hardest when this occurred - Romney asked: “Mr. President, have you looked at your pension?” Obama responded: “I don’t look at my pension. It’s not as big as yours so it doesn't take as long.”...SMACK!!! LOL...then did anyone notice Ann Romney and Michelle Obama both wore hot pink...gotta say they both looked great...but being my girl Michelle and I are both 5'11, from Chicago and wear the same shoe size (I know this because I saw her inaugural ball gown on display at the Smithsonian last year...along with her size 10 Jimmy Choos -AHLUSTCOVETDROOL!!!) I give it up to Michelle...she looked stunning...very Jackie Kennedy. By the way...just as an FYI...they don't like it at the Smithsonian when you squeal "OMG look at her shoes!!!" and try to claw your way through plate glass...whateves :)

This morning up bright and early to get the girlies ready for picture day and pick up my messy house....how does it always get to be such a MESS...I swear these kids come home and its like a tornado hits...as per usual they are bright and cheery in the morning and all is bliss...bwahahahaha!!! HEAVEN HELP WHOEVER WAKES UP THE WOMEN IN MY HOUSE BEFORE 8AM!!! I'm not a morning person but I'm the Mom so I have to suck it up...Mia is like waking the dead!!! Its 3 wake up calls before she finally gets moving with surly looks and heavy sighing. Emily is usually a bit more animated in the morning...but she has a very wiggly front tooth and is freaking out that it will come out...whats my worry?...that it will pop out before they take her picture and she'll be a bloody mess...so much compassion...sigh...MOTHER OF THE YEAR!!! Yesterday we all got our hair cut....Emily must have thought they were going to cut off her head by the way she screamed and carried on...but in the end it got cut (HER HAIR ;) ) and she was fine...I'd post the end results of hers here but she refused to let me take her picture...rolling my eyes :) so here are Mia and I...

I know I'm her mom but this kid is freaking gorgeous!!!!

Mom could have done with some better lighting :)

Thank goodness after a few tears (Mia didn't like the straightening iron...AT ALL) and one "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!" from Mom...we all got out the door and on our way to school and work...WHEW!!!

Tonight I WILL RIP IT!!! I need Jillian Michaels to yell at me some more...love her yoga meltdown vid btw...though I fell last time I did the side plank position...ya know where you reach up in a side plank...I just kept going and landed on my butt :) I have to get some more run time in too....starting to run out of steam at the end of the night and I'm getting snacky...not GOOD...oh well...this is a work in progress :) I have noticed that it takes alot less food to fill me up. We got pizza last night cause after the hair cuts and running around and hours of homework...MAMA WASN'T COOKING...I had two pieces of sausage and some cold pasta. I used to eat at least 5 pieces of pizza and I'd still be hungry...plus these days I eat more fruits and veggies than I ever did...EVER!!!

On a separate not work out or food related note...another really positive change I've made in the last year was sitting down with the girls at the dinner table...turning off the TV and just relaxing and talking while we eat. Before we just used to eat in front of the TV...then I would start going into another room cause they wanted to watch the Disney channel (I'd still watch Shake Up...and yes I memorized the theme song :)) . I didn't grow up with my family sitting down to dinner...my brothers being much older...horked down their food in front of the TV and were off....giving my parents more gray hairs. My father worked in the evenings...so Mom would feed me in front of the TV and then she'd go watch whatever she would watch (some gawd awful Latin Soap Opera...this was before Telemundo) It never bothered me because my mom was a stay at home mom...if anything...we had a little TOO MUCH together time...as for my Dad...he was supporting all of us...I never wanted for my parents attention...I was the youngest and only girl...HOLLA :) but ladies Wonder Woman ovah here has to find what works for her family...my mind goes miles per minute so sometimes I miss what I REALLY NEED TO PAY ATTENTION TO. Anyway we started doing family dinner nights a couple of times a week and I noticed it really helped...now its just about every night...I give the girls Friday night off so they can watch a movie. My brain actually slows down and I really listen...I took a note from THE POTUS (look it up) he said in an interview that when he and his wife sit down to dinner with their girls (is it just me or do you not love that their names are Malia and Sasha :)) they ask them...what was the best part of your day and the worst...the girls and I do this and they LOVE IT!!! so do I. I always end their night by reading Emily a story...ok sometimes we have to skip it but I do, do this most nights...I did this with Mia too and I'm convinced its why the two of them love books so much. I then go hang out with Mia who is usually doing something creative like a fashion or interior design game on the computer...she's always up to something...KID IS GONNA TAKE OVER THE WORLD :) I let her watch TV til lights out at 10pm...but a couple of times she's outlasted me...and it never fails that I get up at 2am and her TV is on and she's passed out (I say this so you all don't think I'm high and might...Super Mom or Tiger Mom or anything else over than..trying my best...stumbling but ultimately I'm sure my kids will be fine in spite of me :))...she was watching Diary of a Wimpy Kid last night on HBO...I was thinking...thank goodness I put the view locks on the cable boxes..she can't watch anything higher than PG-13.

Ya know why I like the name Wonder Woman...aside from the fact that she's a HOT, BRUNETTE, TALL, AMAZING...36, 24, 36...(haha...only if she 5'3 ;)...personally...I'm a 36, 31, 38...pears are sexy :) ),SMART, JET FLYING (damm she's got that one on me), CRIME FIGHTING (I'm on the neighborhood watch) BABE!!! Cause when I call myself Wonder Woman(trust me I giggle every time I do)...I'm honestly not thinking how awesome I am...I'm WONDERING how its a WONDER  I make it through the day with my sanity, health and sense of humor intact. Its truly a WONDER I'm keeping my weight down, my healthy eating up, my girls happy, fed and clothed...I have my amazing friends, my great and goofy family, a job I love and I have a sorta of BF that looks like Paul Rudd...HOLLA!!! So many WONDERS!!! Hmmm WONDER where I left my keys :)

Catching up with Wonder Woman...muhahaha :)

Hi All J

Sorry I’ve been away but it was a wild week last week, had to take a breather. So to catch you up I put things in to their own compartments…otherwise it just sounds like a stream of consciousness J

1.       Staying Fit….I’m still fighting the good fight. I’ve been combining Jillian Michael’s Ripped in 30 with her Yoga Meltdown and training for the Hot Chocolate 5k next month…BREATH!!! Its been going ok…need to get more disciplined and find the time but I’m doing it. Getting to the point in my weight loss, keeping fit  journey where I’m just seeing my flaws and getting discouraged…its been such a long road…I sometimes wonder if maybe I can’t do this…then I think…SERIOUSLY…this is the thinnest you’ve been since you were College…shut up and keep going J I may have to have a talk with the ass and thigh fairy though J She’s still way too generous J. I’m between 7 and 5lbs from my latest (and last) goal…kill me now!!!!

2.       My girlies!!! They are FAB!!! The best parts of my life. Its been an interesting challenge this last month having them on my own. When their Dad still lived close by we split the week evenly but since he’s moved three hours away…now they are with him every other weekend. My parents have pitched in to help…which has been great though I try not to abuse that too much. My parents are 76 and 79 respectively so while the girls are a bit older they can still be a handful and I feel guilty having my folks babysit too much. My mom cracked me up the other day when she said “If only I were 60!!” Oh yeah Mom the good ol days when you’d take on the world J My mommie friends have been amazing pitching in…even if only to listen to me whine ;) Overall though everything has been great.

3.       My so-called life…Social life came to a big halt after the summer was over…I still have my moments here and there but I’m kinda of enjoying the scale back. Still having fun dating my adorable guy (he really does hate it when I say he’s adorable…but he is!!!) People ask me if he’s my boyfriend, where are we going with this…whats going on…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH J Well…I do like him a lot, we have a great time together and that’s good for now. I don’t know ladies…everytime I think about sharing my life with someone I feel like someone has a vice grip on my throat (and not in a hot way…did anyone see Broadwalk Empire last night?!?! Damm Bobby!!! Now he could make me reconsider having more babies ;) ) I don’t know when that will go away. I’ve been asked if I’m worried, given my age (GRRRRRR!!!!) about finding someone to spend the rest of my life with…well…no J truly. There is an old saying that goes “Mejor sola que mal acompanada” which translated means its better to be alone than in bad company…and that is the GAWDS HONEST TRUTH there ladies!!! If I don’t find my SUPERMAN (give or take some silly flaws J ) then whats the point. This is not saying I will not leave my heart open…I am…but I won’t settle.

4.       Men in my life that HAVE GOT TO GO!!! I have been fortunate since my divorce to date some really nice guys and some not so nice ones. I have the misfortune (sigh J)  of being too nice…so some of them I’m still in touch with. There must have been something in the air cause THEY ALL CONTACTED ME THIS WEEKEND!!!!  and truly I wanna say “Its been nice knowin’ ya’…don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way OUT!!!” First off…REALLY!!! Call me on a Friday or Saturday to do something THAT DAY???? LAMEBALLS!!!! I actually ended up on my own Saturday night but working out, a good book and bath, was still a better option than these MAMALUKES (I was reading the Godfather…the Italian slang is rolling J) Wanna know something sad…most of these guys have made their reappearance in the last six months…hmmm…seems like word got out that I lost 60lbs J Ugh and they are sooooo transparent that its my appearance that has them suddenly interested. This maybe paranoia on my part but another thing and this really makes me mad… I think, that they have it in minds that because I have kids…my options on limited…so they can swoop in and offer a lousy deal and I’ll be so desperate I’ll take it….WTF!!! So not only am I not interested…they make me physical sick…PLEASE BOYS…DO ME AND YOURSELVES A FAVOR…LOSE MY NUMBER J

So this week…hmmm…working from home tomorrow (I LOVE MY JOB!!!!) the girls and I are getting haircuts…Mia wants bangs (I’ll post pics J ) using this to get her to cut a few inches off as well (I’ll take 2 J ) Emily is getting a trim as well…ME…long layers a few inches…nothing too special. Wednesday School Pictures…three screaming women in a bathroom…and they are 10 and 5…whaddaamIgonnado when they are 18 and 13!!! I told Mia we’d have two bathrooms…one for me and one for them. She says “Mom…you’re gonna leave two teenage girls in ONE BATHROOM?!?!? We’ll fight and kill each other” my oh so motherly sage comment “What the heck do I care, I’ll be in my bathroom", Thursday…School Open House (its like Kiddie Disco Night ;) ) Friday…MOVIE NIGHT at home…”And Hulk…SMASH!!!”, Saturday Pumpkin Patch and running for the Wisconsin Boarder to see if I can get my traitor kids Packers costumes…GRRRR…I’m a Bears Fan and my oldest daughter is a Packer Fan…MY HEART!!!!...I blame her father and aunt for this one…I know I’m not trashing my ex or his sister but DAMMIT!!! J Emily is still a Bears Fan but we are trick or treating with another family (then there is a party with Beer and Chill for the grown ups!!! J I think the kids will be banished to the basement to come down off the sugar high…is it wrong to bar the door to the upstairs??!!!!”) The other kids are going as Bears players so my kids have to constrast…don’t ask me…the kids came up with this…I’m just their BITCH ;)